It's strange when you get so far into the core of a system, something changes.

Before I entered the system I was ignorant. I was outside looking in. It was another world in there. An amazing world. Passing through the thick, but porous membrane and into that world was easy, but a large first step. I started small in the system but soon learned more about my surroundings and started to become a part of the system. As the years passed more people joined the system and friends became a part of our function in the system. I not only fell more in love with the system but we all became a bigger part of the system. Making a difference to that part of the system as much as I could but also, unknowingly being pulled to the center of the system. Toward the core. Once again on the outside, looking in to an even more mysterious world. After six years our function of the system, that I was apart of, dissipated. Friends either left the system or were no longer interested in that set of functions and joined other functions. At this point I decided to enter the core of the system. Passing through an even thicker, hard shell. Once inside I found that I had become a helpful roll in aiding the core functions of the system. Not a primary roll, but functional non the less. My functions were exciting and purposeful; and eventually friends aided in these functions. Now as I look through the core wall to the main system I feel like I'm looking back on a foreign, hostile world. A world that seems cold and twisted. Different than from when I first saw it. After all it has been ten years. Is ten years enough? Is it my place in the system that makes it the system as a whole less attractive? Have I been in the system or the core too long? Do I need to go back outside the core to really appreciate the system or do I need to leave all together?