| domestica | |||
| are you wearing your shock collar? you are untrusted by your significant other to make your own decisions. you are forced to conform to the their standards. you are not accepted for who you are and must conform. it is either her way of the highway. like one wrong breath could break the fragile peace like a gust of wind tumbling a snowflake castle to the ground. you could call it compromise or the necessary sacrifice for something greater. a sacrifice for a divine love. a greater love. but do you think this love is mutual? is it a blind love? ask yourself, does she truly love you if you have to change the essence of who you are for that love? each person has their own path to happiness. i just want to make sure you are not walking or being led down this path to find later that it doesn't lead to happiness. i want to make sure you are asking yourself if you are, deep down, truly happy. i must tell you, i felt awkward. i felt out of place and in foreign lands. i felt as if i had walked into a house occupied by twenty six year old grand parents. there was nothing fun about it. there was no culture. there was no life other than a manic dog. (thinking back makes me realize why people may want to have kids... to breath some life into their lives.) maybe the previous occupant rubbed off, but i think it's more than that. she was looking forty years down the road and preparing for that in the house you're sharing. being with someone for that long doesn't bother me, but for some one to be planning a hobby that far in advanced is a bit scary. it shows how established she is and for someone to be so set in her ways at twenty five is sad. you're both young. at your age you should have much to learn and explore in this amazing world, but traveling alone is not makes you young, it's what you do in your daily lives, now. today. tomorrow. i know you. you are more adventurous than this. your significant other should not be that concerned about what sort of friend's events you want to go to. it seems like you hardly ever hang out with your friends anymore. if you do, do you hangout without her? do you have robert time other than just surfing? does she trust you on your own? you should trust one another, but it seems like she treats you like a child with a history of being out of control. you are not so set in your ways and you surprise me with your unpredictability. you're funny and fun to be around, but last night i felt like you were wearing a shock collar. even if you weren't wearing a collar you acted like a dog that had wore one in the past and was waiting to get shocked if you did anything wrong. i can only relate her to the girls you were into back when i met you. you were into girls like blossom and crystal. the cute good girls. girls with good grades and extra curricular activities like dancing and acting. wholesome, responsible girls with conservative values. maybe i don't see the big picture. maybe this is what we're all supposed to do. maybe i need to grow up. maybe i don't know you. maybe i'm just a wild one with wild ideas. maybe i don't know what you really want and that you are ready for a life of domesticated living. the next step is pretty predictable. if it was "the one" i'd agree, but i saw control. i saw distrust. i saw coldness. is this what you deserve? i remember you atop a telephone pole banging on a telephone box. i remember green grubs in hawaii and bringing them back on the plane. i remember talking to a veterinarian in costa rica about a dog with a broken leg. i remember your story after returning to the pool side at the bellagio in las vegas. i remember an alabama state trooper stopping two kids for skateboarding. |
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